Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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