i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
