Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
