Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
