Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
