Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
