You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
