remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
