They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
