love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
