last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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