She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
