it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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