My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
