His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
