shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we made out on top of his cat.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
