ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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