1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
