my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
How external is "for external use only"?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
