She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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