If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
