I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
