you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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