Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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