its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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