The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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