Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
kristin has been a bad kristin
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
