I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
