My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
