she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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