I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
