I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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