You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
