he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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