omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
