you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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