im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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