Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
