Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
