yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
