Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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