Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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