someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
