how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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