So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
