i may or may not be watching the land before time
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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