I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
