I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
