ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
