He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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